Thrilling Bloody Sword

A pregnant ruler is manipulated by an alien being—so thoroughly that she gives birth to a giant sausage, promptly stuffs it into a wicker basket, and sets it adrift on the river. The river delivers it to the Seven Dwarves (important commanders under a warlock’s spell), who raise it. I’m not fantasizing; this is the actual plot! And then there are dragons, a little bunny rabbit that turns into Tinkerbell, a monster bear—again, not fantasizing! And martial arts. A shit-ton of martial arts: the most ordinary thing about this concoction of full-frontal insanity. Compared to Thrilling Bloody Sword, LSD is fucking chamomile tea. (Olaf Möller)